|Photo Courtesy: Roxi Dlite|
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
I'm a Stripper.
I’m a stripper. I’m a wife. I’m a cook. I’m a dancer. I’m a choreographer. I am an artist.
The last decade of my life has been about one thing…following through on all the seemingly unrelated things that I do in my life, and trying to find the one common bond between them- if any. I keep it real, I stay alive, and I discover all the little nooks around me. Now is my time to come out.
When I was 15 years old all I wanted to be was a stripper. I couldn’t wait to turn 18 go to a strip club and maybe get a job. I turned 18, went to a strip club and felt like I had walked into a long lost home. I didn’t want to leave and at the same time I wanted to run. I stared in awe at the women around me, and was mesmerized by the men watching them. I did not get a job. The Power of Pussy intrigued and haunted me.
For the next five years Russ Meyer, Tura Satana, and strippers were my heroes. I was obsessed with sleaze, porn, camel cigarettes, old man bars, and the underbelly of life. There was an honesty there that I craved. I wanted to get closer to the strippers but I was afraid of something. Until two years ago I never knew what I was afraid of…would I get lost into that world? Was I wrong to think there was something deeper? Or was I being honest with myself in the fact that I liked it?
“The Power of Pussy
intrigued and haunted me.”
I’ve always lived my life organically and very instinctually. I trust the voices in my head even though I don’t always understand why they tell me to “wait.”
When I was 23, I moved to New York and I discovered Burlesque. I had always been a fan of old Burlesque and was very familiar with the history. In every writing class in college I wrote about burlesque, seedy histories of strippers, stag films from the 60s, or the Golden Age of Porn…like I said, I was obsessed with sleaze and usually it was of the vintage variety. When I found Burlesque being performed in New York it was my way to strip without stripping. I loved it, and I felt like I was complete when I did my first show. Three years later Burlesque was my full time job, and I had discovered my bliss. But, I still wanted to be a stripper.
So, for my 30th birthday I gave myself a present, permission to be a stripper. Not just a stripper…a stripper in the Bronx. Happy Birthday to me!
To be continued…