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| Photo Courtesy: Roxi Dlite |
I’m a stripper. I’m a wife. I’m a cook. I’m a dancer. I’m a choreographer. I am an artist.
The last decade of my life has been about one thing…following through on all the seemingly unrelated things that I do in my life, and trying to find the one common bond between them- if any. I keep it real, I stay alive, and I discover all the little nooks around me. Now is my time to come out.
When I was 15 years old all I wanted to be was a stripper. I couldn’t wait to turn 18 go to a strip club and maybe get a job. I turned 18, went to a strip club and felt like I had walked into a long lost home. I didn’t want to leave and at the same time I wanted to run. I stared in awe at the women around me, and was mesmerized by the men watching them. I did not get a job. The Power of Pussy intrigued and haunted me.
For the next five years Russ Meyer, Tura Satana, and strippers were my heroes. I was obsessed with sleaze, porn, camel cigarettes, old man bars, and the underbelly of life. There was an honesty there that I craved. I wanted to get closer to the strippers but I was afraid of something. Until two years ago I never knew what I was afraid of…would I get lost into that world? Was I wrong to think there was something deeper? Or was I being honest with myself in the fact that I liked it?
“The Power of Pussy
intrigued and haunted me.”
I’ve always lived my life organically and very instinctually. I trust the voices in my head even though I don’t always understand why they tell me to “wait.”
When I was 23, I moved to New York and I discovered Burlesque. I had always been a fan of old Burlesque and was very familiar with the history. In every writing class in college I wrote about burlesque, seedy histories of strippers, stag films from the 60s, or the Golden Age of Porn…like I said, I was obsessed with sleaze and usually it was of the vintage variety. When I found Burlesque being performed in New York it was my way to strip without stripping. I loved it, and I felt like I was complete when I did my first show. Three years later Burlesque was my full time job, and I had discovered my bliss. But, I still wanted to be a stripper.
So, for my 30th birthday I gave myself a present, permission to be a stripper. Not just a stripper…a stripper in the Bronx. Happy Birthday to me!
To be continued…
And like a good stripper, you are a TEASE!!!
ReplyDeleteFull disclosure---I live in Portland, OR, Strip Club Capitol of the US(we have more per capita than anywhere). I do go to clubs, and often spend most of my time chatting with the dancers. You all have marvelous stories and reasons for dancing. It intrigues me more than excites me to sit there and nurse a beer and chat. I tip all the girls that have danced while I am there, I figure that you girls are working, no reason to be a cheap bastard. I can't wait to read the next installment.